Netscrapes.com :: Wit ,Wisdom & Comedy in One Neat Package@import url("themes/PostNuke/style/style.css"); Netscrapes.comWit ,Wisdom & Comedy in One Neat Package Dec 02, 2008 - 10:49 PM Homepage :: Downloads :: WebLinks :: FAQ Search Main Menu· HomeModules· AvantGo· Downloads· FAQ· Members List· News· Recommend Us· Reviews· Search· Sections· Stats· Topics· Top List· Web LinksOnlineWe have 4 guests and 0 members onlineWelcome Guest, become a member today.Great Literary TauntsPosted by: Jack on Wednesday, November 26, 2008 - 06:19 PM Folks, don't EVER get an author (or person who can attract an audience) mad at you! Here are some taunts wrttens by some famous individuals...
“I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.”
— Stephen Bishop
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
—Oscar Wilde
“I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.”
— Irvin S. Cobb
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
— Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
— William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
— Samuel Johnson
“He had delusions of adequacy.”
— Walter Kerr
“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.”
— Groucho Marx
“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”
— Thomas Brackett Reed
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
— Forrest Tucker
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
— Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
— Mae West
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
— Oscar Wilde
“He has Van Gogh's ear for music.”
— Billy Wilder
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
— Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)(84 Reads)comments?   Proverbs & Wise Sayings You Can Live ByPosted by: Jack on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 05:58 AM Don't Worry, Be Happy!
Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.
The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.
God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.
And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
One faces the future with one’s past.
Suffering brings experience.
Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.
God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars.
A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.
(Click on the Read more... line in the gray bar below to see more of these great quotes.)(775 Reads)Read more... (1226 bytes more) comments? ErrataPosted by: Jack on Saturday, September 13, 2008 - 04:59 PMIt's been a while, in fact, quite a while since I took a little time to create a post here on Netscrapes.com. So, I thought I'd give it a go...by letting my thoughts travel from my cranium to my fingers, onto my keyboard and to your eyes as you read these binary ramblings.
One thing that comes immediately to mind, that I'm sure I've blogged about before, is the efforts I make toward supporting my lifestyle, family , dogs and by way of taxes aoid on my earnings, they government of the good ol' US of A. I'm referring of course to my job.
But I'm taking a very different tack this time as I present my thoughts to you. Think back a few years ago when America first started "second guessing" whether fighting for freedom in Iraq was really worth the price we were paying in blood. The general populace became more & more disgruntled with the way the war was being handled. As things developed, one of the major criticisms made against the government's handling of the war was the fact that there was no exit strategy to get out of the country we believed we were liberating. In other words, troops were sent to the foreign land, resources had been allocated for their support, everything was firmly in place but no one had thought of what event, what criteria, what results would need to be realized that would clearly indicate we had succeeded in liberating the Iraqi people. And if that event occurred, it would allow the troops to go home..ergo, the exit strategy previously alluded to.(1181 Reads)Read more... (115 bytes more) comments? Trapped...in a World Trade Center ElevatorPosted by: Jack on Saturday, August 09, 2008 - 11:31 AMI read with some interest today that four or five people were stuck in an elevator in the Empre State building in NYC due to a power outage . Let me relay to you a similar experience I had when traveling in an express elevator up to the 78th floor in WTC tower #2. That was the one without the TV antenna on the top.
As best as I can recollect, it was around September or October, 1992. I was returning from lunch at a great hot dog store that was situated on the corner of Broadway & John Streets. I could probably write about those delicious tube steaks for a few more parargraphs, but will stick to the topic at hand instead.
At the time I'm writing about, I was employed at an engineering consulting firm that had leased office from floor 78 through 91 in the WTC tower #2. When the buildings were being constructed, I understand that since my company agreed to long-term leases for the floors noted, express elevators were installed that could whoosh people to the sky tower that would be created for them on the 78th floor. From there, "local" elevators could take people from floors 79 through 120, where the Windows of the World restaurant, viewing windows and other attractions could be found.
So, returning from lunch on the day in question, me & about 10-12 fellow travelers boarded the express elevator, fully expecting to arrive up at the 78th floor after a typical 30-40 second trip. But, after about 15 seconds, we felt the elevator slow, and then stop, well shy of the 78th floor. Breaking the unwritten manners of not looking at another rider, we glanced at each other, realizing that we had not arrived at our destination. Thank goodness, someone remembered there was a telephone that could be used for such an emergency, and thank goodness both it and the overhead lights just happened to be in working condition!
Some guy in a gray business suit picked up the phone & in a couple of seconds someone at the other end of the line said "Port Authority Elevator" or something like that. The gray-suited man explained our predicament. After a moment or two of silence, in a manner unusual for a New Yorker the guy announced that all the maintenance workers who could possibly assist us were at lunch & not expected back for at least another hour.
We were stunned and a chorus of "What?", "what did he just say?" and some other epithets that expressed physical actions that were probably impossible for the guy on the other end of the phone to perform were expressed. Then, we heard the guy laughing and his voice announced, "just kidding." He explained workers were looking into the problem at that very moment. And, in just about another four or five minutes the guy called us back & said we'd be on our way in a few seconds. Sure enough, the elevator started and in 30 seconds or so completed its journey tot he 78th floor and disgourged us at our destination.(2616 Reads)comments? Painting SpreePosted by: Jack on Sunday, July 20, 2008 - 01:24 PMThis post has nothing to do with controversy, observation or opinion. Nor will it impact the nation's GNP, relate to the CPI or interest the FBI, NSA or CIA. In fact, in the eyes of posterity these ramblings will eventually melt into the annals of history, never to be read again in perhaps no more than a year...or a month, if I'm lucky.
See, I'm going to mention that this afternoon, when it was about 95 degrees or so outside, I decide to finish painting the cement fundation of our home. Prior to tis it was unfinsished, gray in hue, unappealing and drab in appearance. I'd actually thought about finishing this project for the past week or so but never managed to pick up the roller to finish the job. That is, until today.
For some reason, the heat and uncomfortable humidity attacted me to head out to the back of the house and apply pigment to foundation. Luckily, this area of our home is out of the sun in the afternoon so I was comfortble at least in that regard. An hour or two of paint roller activity and the project was finally finished.
See? I told you that this post was totally irrelevant to anything significant I might have previously addressed in the past. But the back of our house is painted and it doesn't look too bad, if I must say so myself.(3286 Reads)comments? Lies, Lies and OilPosted by: Jack on Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - 03:40 PMHave you noticed that as soon as the price of a barrel of crude oil goes up in price, there's a comensurate increase in the cost of gasoline at your local station, too? Even though the gas is already in the ground, even though it was already paid for by the station owner at a prior price, even though the gas station attendant had to dutifully change the prices on their signage to reflect the latest gouging they're gonna extract from your wallet or pocketbook, the price goes up immediately.
Now, I understand that the price of crude's dropped about $10 per barrel over the past few days. Funny, I haven't seen a commensurate drop in the price of a gallon of gas at the pumps.
What's going on? If the economy is in such a down-spiral, why the heck isn't the intelligencia of the country pouncing all over the oil companies to "pass the savings" on to the folks who are digging ever deeper into their pockets to afford gas for transporation?
This could be a golden opportunity for some elected official to go to the head of the class and hold the feet of those damn oil company executives to the fire until they cry uncle?
Are they all blind?(2186 Reads)comments? Extended AbsencePosted by: Jack on Sunday, June 01, 2008 - 08:52 AMWell, this has certainly been a fine kettle of fish! Netscrapes.com has been down for the count for about the past week & a half. reason? Bandwidth problems, folks. Seems that there are enough readers visiting this little spot on the 'Net to create problems at my end. I'm told I need to purchase more of this "stuff" so my readers aren't left with the infamous "Bandwidth Exceeded" notice toward the end of each month.
I'm gonna see how to get around this problem & apologize to readers who have missed my musings for the past 10 days or so.
And so, you may ask, what can you look forward to if you come back to this humble web site? Well, I can't honsetly say what the heck will flow from my brain, down to my fingers, onto my keyboard & eventually make its way onto this page. So, if you still have a hankering for additioanl drivel from me, stop back soon. My ruminations are unique and eminate from the heart.
See you soon, my friends.(2769 Reads)comments? ExpressionsPosted by: Jack on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - 05:06 PMHere are origins of some common expressions we've all used at one time or another in our everyday language:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence, the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all, the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.”
Houses had thatched roofs--thick straw--piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence, the saying, “It's raining cats and dogs.”
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence, the saying, “dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance way. Hence the saying a thresh hold.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.”
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach into the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers were given the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family received the middle, and guests received the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence, the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
How 'bout dem apples?(2762 Reads)comments? What Makes Marriage Work?Posted by: Jack on Monday, May 05, 2008 - 03:57 PMWell, I saw the headline of this post on Yahoo! this evening & couldn't wait to express my two cents worth on the topic.
What makes a marriage work? I'll divulge right into this tender topic & can think of a couple of ideas right off the top of my head. How about communication? Believe me, talking things out, putting it all out on the table is one great way to make a marriage work. Two people can have different opinions, different feelings about a plethora of (3459 Reads)comments? ApologiesPosted by: Jack on Friday, May 02, 2008 - 03:02 PMI believe I owe all readers who come to this web site a sincere apology. You see, it seems that I haven't finished the last few articles I've started. If you could just give me another(3921 Reads)comments? Drivel...or Not?Posted by: Jack on Sunday, April 20, 2008 - 05:43 AMAs you probanly know, I have this propensity for starting a blog that piques the interest of readers, and put at the end of it (To Be Continued). Then you come back to this web site to read how the piece ends and there it sits, as incomplete as Hillary Clinton's effort at solving the US health care problems back in the '90s. (Surely you remember that debacle, don't you?) This seems to have created a meaningful point at which I can segue into the topic I wanted to touch upon today...
Lately I've been hearing that the former First Lady has a plan to solve the medical crisis here in the USA. I haven't wasted my time yet to se exactly how she's going to fix a problem that's grown in intensity and complexity since she first tried her hand at it nearly 20 years ago, but I'm sure her rhetoric is repleat with promise, commitment and a visible tenacity to get the job done.
Right.
And why, pray tell, is Ms. Clinton now able to solve the ills of the country when she couldn't accomplish this when her spouse was in the White House? Could it be that she's merely espousing some diatribe her campaign managers and speech writers feel will fan the hopes and desires of folks who need said medical coverage? I wonder...
And how about another candidate, the one who says that he, too, can provide health care for the nation, keep jobs in this country and bring the troops home from Iraq? How is it that this person who has never been privy to the inner secrets and workings of our nation's government able to place solutions to its most pressing problems? What does he know that folks who've been in Congress for term after term have failed to bring forward? Are these career politicians so inept or callous that neither they or their staff would put forth some (3486 Reads)comments? Coincidence...or Not?Posted by: Jack on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 03:28 PMIn the post immediately below this one, I briefly mention coincidence and the part it recently played in my life. Occurring at a time when I was under tremendous pressure, I could have quite easily mistaken how these seemingly random events blended together in a tapestry of comfort, guiding me gently through a period of anxiety that almost seemed unbearable. Only, I thankfully recognized that these "coincidences" introduced peace, tranquility and calmness because I stopped to listen, think about what they meant, how they influenced my life. I'll relay a few of these "random events" and let you deide what you think of them.
It was, if I recall correctly, a Wednesday in February. You know, one of those days that makes one put a certain quickness in their step, trying to stay ahead of a bitter winter wind. I had left my office where in addition to a myriad of other duties pressed down upon me, a very specific time-sensitive project I needed to accomplish loomed ever larger over me, the consumate straw that was going to break the camel's back if you will. And, the camel was me.
I rarely left my office because I preferred to eat lunch at my desk. I usually had the common sense to use my lunch hour to surf the 'Net, read some light news stories or otherwise divorce myself from the requirements of my job. But for some reason, I had recently started to work through my lunch period, vainly hoping that this additional effort at getting more work done would somehow ease the pressure in my life.
On the Wednesday in question, I left the safety of my office with trepidatio that I was "wasting time." But, since I desperately needed a haircut, I had to take the time to tidy up a bit. Driving to a small uni place I'd discovered near my job, I went in, gave my name to the receptionist and waited to be called for my turn in one of the chairs. I happened to notice that a couple of other folks came in after me, but really didn't pay too much attention to their presence.
After about five minutes or so, I remember leaning forward in my chair and resting my elbows on my knees, head in my hands. Thinking about the work that was piling up on my desk as I sat here wasting my time, I slowly shook my head from side to side in the unmistakable universal sign of an individual who was in deep, deep trouble.
Softly, ever so softly, I felt a tapping on my shoulder. Taking my head out of my hands, I saw that a woman who had come into the shop after me and was also waiting for a haircut was smiling at me. When my eyes met hers, she said to me, "Here, take this. You might want to read it." Looking at her hand, I saw she was offering me a track, one of those small handouts that you
(To be continued...)(3289 Reads)comments? Faith, Hope and the World of WorkPosted by: Jack on Friday, March 21, 2008 - 04:41 AMIf you collect a paycheck, your job may put demands on you that are, at times, quite unreasonable. For instance, you may be responsible for several task that are due at the same time. Or, a project might need to be done and you simply don't have the resources to finish same. Perhaps you're asked to conduct an ad hoc meeting for which you have no idea how to lead? What's one to do? I'll spend a few moments roughly detailing the monster project that I was in charge of, how it nearly consumed me and the method I discovered on how to solve the stress, anxiety and sleepless nights that were commensurate with this assigned responsibility.
I was required to obtain raw numeric data from vendors that deal with my employer. The numbers had to be "massaged" into a very specific format for the recipient. The eventual reward for our endeavors was a certain dollar amount, which of course was very enticing to our organization. I noted that the reward was eventual very deliberately, folks. That's because the scope, cryptic instructions from the sponsoring entity and (granted) self-imposed pressure I put upon myself to complete this project practically brought me, both physically and mentally, to a virtual standstill.
Now, that's a fancy way to state that I was just about paralyzed with mental and physical fatigue. My situation became so pronounced that I was forced to seek the services of a physician. Why? My ability to concentrate seemed to be non-existent. I was forgetting things, missing deadlines, not speaking to family members once I got home from work. What the f___!
So, I needed to take a day off from work and take a little sojourn to the family physician. He spent a significant amount of time with me. In fact, my bride who had accompanied me said that the waiting room was filled solid with bodies, all waiting to see the white-coated, Porsche driving professional whose time I so selfishly garnered for myself. By the way, I easily spent over an hour with this guy in his office. Granted, this was my first visit to the guy. No more than about ten months ago we had moved to this new area and I had recently selected him as my PCP (primary care physician); I needed to relay to him family history, allergies and specific problems I was now experiencing. And so I splayed my saga out to him, specifically detailing the stress and anxiety I was under on my job.
Guess what he attributed my problem to? Right...the aforementioned monster project I was in charge of! He predicted that as soon as the project was over, the stress and anxiety I was experiencing would dissipate, also.
And now, flash forward to about a week or so ago. I finished the project, the job seems to be going better, and my thought process somehow is so much the clearer, But, how did I get through this trying time? Well, it wassimple meditation...in Church.
You see, I go to work early in the moring, mostly so I can beat the rush hour traffic that builds and builds until it looks like a giant swarm of honey bees, buzzing and diligently performing their respective chores around their perfectly constructed row after row of hexagonal hive. I would make a very slight detour and stop at the Church, making my way to one of the last rows. It really made no difference where I sat, as there was only one or two other people in the place at that time of day.
I'd settle down, zip up my coat 'cause I don't think the heat had been on too long by the time I arrived and closed my eyes. I'd then make peace with my Maker, acknowledging my place in his world, all the time letting myself relax into a very peaceful, very quiet state of mind. I wouldn't let anything disturb me, nor let my mind wander into such inane topics like follow up at work that was due or a certain monster project that was drowning me, slowly but surely.
It was at that point I would simply remain in a "blank" state of mind, no letting extraneous thoughts filter in & destroy my peace. Somehow, my daily trips to the Church made my mind clearr, my thought process more precise, my ability to do my job a little easier.
And, there were several "coincidences" that I believe were directly attributable to my visits to Church in the morning. But that's a topic for another day, folks.(5160 Reads)16 Comments Ruminations on LifePosted by: Jack on Saturday, February 16, 2008 - 02:00 PMDr. Wayne Dyer is the author of "Your Erroneous Self," "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life," Wisdom of the Ages" and numerour other self-help books and tapes. I've read several his works, listened to his tapes, and recognize him as a person who has a lot to offer to individuals who want to understand (and, perchance to improve) their lives. In one of his works I perused, I honestly can't recall which one, Dr. Dyer mentions his relationship with Harvard-educated Dr. Deepak Chopra, a speaker, author and self-helf guru much like himself. Interstingly enough, in one particular instance Dyer called Ch0pra on the phone and apparently asked him for some advice. Chopra's answer to Dyer's request? Dyer, slightly exasperated, states that Chopra gives him the same suggestion he always gives when querried on some important manner..."meditate." And this segues me toward the topic I want to focus on, that will undoubtedly lead me to ruminating on various other areas...meditation.
A few years ago, I happened to notice that many of the newer methods and procedures leading to wellness after an illness or injury advocated some form of meditation. It seems quieting the mind, making oneself calm and entering the meditative state is fast becoming mainstream. But, note I used the term becoming mainstream. This carful choice of words means that it's been around for a while. In fact, if I recall correctly, Dr. Chopra in his books mentions that the concept of meditation finds its roots in the country of India, home of his ancestors. However, as I'm about to relate, one doesn't necessarily need deep metaphysical research, a personal guide wearing a tie-dyed shirt sitting cross-legged on a hand-woven mat and honey suckle scented candle to stare into to clear the mind. You see, meditation only requires one to clear the mind of extraneous thoughts, thereby creating a clear path on which to concentrateon a single, solitary thought, idea or concept. How does one do that? Let me share with you my method of meditation.(3858 Reads)Read more... (2884 bytes more) 7 Comments Reflections of ExperiencePosted by: Jack on Monday, February 04, 2008 - 10:19 AMYesterday, 2/3/08, I had an interesting experience I can share with you. As some readers may know, my other web site, Prestodog.com, is for and about our best friend, the dog. In that perspective, we entered our newest Shetland Sheepdog, Maggie, in a dog show in Wildwood, NJ hosted by the Boardwalk Kennel Club. Now, if you're a frequent visitor here at Netscrapes.com and are also familiar with geography, you'll quickly realize that I currently reside in a rural area in PA and that Wildwood is "down the shore" in NJ. As a matter of fact, it's south of Atlantic City and just a wee bit north of Cape May, the southern-most point in the Garden State.
To get from the mountains in PA to the Jersey Shore in NJ, we had to drive 150 miles...each way. And, since Shetland Sheepdogs were scheduled to make their entry into the show ring at 11:00 a.m., since they had to be groomed and prettied up before they entered the ring, and since we had to cart all the "stuff" (grooming table, powders, implements, etc.) from our van into the show area to prepare for the previous two eventualities, we had to leave our home, or what we call the Presto Dog Phunny Pharm, at 6:00 a.m.
Arriving at the Wildwood Convention Center where the dog show was held after traveling a mere 2 hours and 45 minutes, we immediately set up all our equipment and began preparing the dog for her entry at 11:00 a.m. Well, I lied a bit. My bride is the one who actually prepares the dog for her show appearances...to date, I've been the transporter, driver and first string moral supporter of her endeavors. So, after hauling all the necessary equipment up a long ramp & into the building, I was able to go for a walk outside. Here's where my observation relative to the title of this post shall commence.
First, I went onto the boarwalk. In the event you're not familiar with the area, Wildwood is right on the Atlantic Ocean. And, a boardwalk is a walkway usually made of wood that traverses the ocean front. So, I was walking along the waterfront enjoying the ocean air, sand and sea. The boarwalk took me past the parking lot where many of the out of town dog show participants had parked their vehicles. The were the usual Chevys, Fords, Toyotas, etc. Vans, sub-compacts & luxury vehicles also were present. But the eye-cathers were the huge, monsterous motor homes that spread their huge bulks over two-to three parking spaces and across multiple rows as well. These behemoths, when parked, also expand out from the sides, thereby giving their owners even more room inside. We've walked through a few of these mansions-on-wheels and to say they're "finely appointed" is a gross understatement. (3121 Reads)Read more... (2542 bytes more) comments? Dog StoriesPosted by: Jack on Monday, January 21, 2008 - 02:15 PMWell, I've recently made a number of updates to one of my other sites, Netscrapes.com.
If you're ineterested in a site that's geared toward our canine companions, click HERE. (2436 Reads)comments? Great Gun Control Story...NOT!Posted by: Jack on Monday, January 14, 2008 - 03:10 PMA freind sent me this story about an incident in Montana...
Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez, 23 and Enrico Garza, 26, probably believed they would easily overpower home-alone 11 year old Patricia Harrington after her father had left their two-story home.
It seems the two crooks never learned two things: they were in Montana and Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was nine. Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door of the house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun.
Resindez was the first to get up to the second floor only to be the first to catch a near point blank blast of buckshot from the 11- year-old's knee crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals. When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before medical help could arrive.
It was found out later that Resindez was armed with a stolen 45 caliber handgun he took from another home invasion robbery. That victim, 50-year-old David Burien, was not so lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest. Ever wonder why good stuff never makes NBC, CBS, PBS, MSNBC, CNN, or ABC news.
(Slightly embarrasing) UPDATE:
Snopes, verifier of urban legend, has a slightly different take on the above account. Click anywhere in this sentence to shoot over to snopes to get the low down.
Just be sure to come back...O.K.?(2567 Reads)17 Comments A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous ThingPosted by: Jack on Sunday, January 13, 2008 - 12:40 PMLike most families, we do our shopping for groceries on the weekend in a large supermarket. Convenience and competitive pricing acted as incentives for these huge, one-stop food shopping canters. We as consumers demanded, and we got 'em.
So, we dutifully made our weekly trek to the store a week or so ago, intent on stocking up for the week. At the same time, local weather authorities predicted snow...about 5-8 inches. With the typical knee-jerk reaction accompanying the onslaught of weather, many, many people vacated their residences and joined us at the supermarket, gathering necessities before the cataclysmic weather event that would soon visit upon us.
And that's when we heard, with our own ears, what proved to be a statement that we have decided to adopt for ourselves whenever a weather event will decend on us.
My bride & I wereeach sauntering down separate aisles, she with the actual shopping cart, me with one of those two-handled plastic baskets that'll hold 10-12 items. Traveling through the store & selecting those "special" delicacies I enjoy, I occasionaly have to track the bride and empty the contents of my plactic basket into her much larger, four-wheeled metal push cart. While I was separated from her, she was at the meat counter when she overheard some guy, apparently trying to alert the shoppers, make his now famous statement:
"GET YOUR BREAD, MILK AND TOILET PAPER; DOPPLER'S COMING!"
Now, his words probably won't wind up in any dictionary of quotations, or be memorialized on Jay Leno's show or any other media. But it surely will live on in our family as a favorite, treasured saying for years to come.(2171 Reads)comments? Weird Web SitesPosted by: Jack on Saturday, January 12, 2008 - 10:23 AMNow, perhaps the web sites I'm linking to below aren't weird...they might be just off the beaten path a bit. In any event, you can click on the links and make your own decision on their existence.
Enjoy!
Everyday Mysteries: Things we take for granted are explained HERE.
Functions of Google you might not know about. Click HERE to see what else the quintessential search emgine can do.
Coffee, mud, joe, java, etc...how does caffeine work? Click HERE to see how it works.
Here's a great classical music web site. Clcik HERE.
Traffic flow around the USA, including live web cam shots!. Click HERE.
Convert anything to any other thing. Click HERE.
Urban legends? Go to Snopes! Click HERE.
Need help with homework? Click HERE.
Famous...and infamous...speeches. Click HERE.
Info on US Presidents. Click HERE.
Ever hear a song & wonder who first recorded it? Click HERE to find out!(1996 Reads)comments? A Shameful Waste of EnergyPosted by: Jack on Saturday, January 12, 2008 - 08:04 AMIf you've read posts on this site from this past summer, you'd have learned that we moved to a very rural area last spring. Sure, it's an hour's commute to where I earn the greenbacks to pay the mortgage on the new place. But when I come home in the evening, I pull into a driveway overlooking a view of trees, hills, deer and assorted other niceties of nature.
Then, there's the contentment of the area itself, perhaps best evidenced by what occurred this moring. But, a little background information first. This past week, my work days were consumed with a massive P/C-based applicationn that affected the paychecks of practically all of our 1,600+ employees. It was an assignment that required my absolute attention, so I was thankful there's a door on my office I could close so I could maintain my concentration.
The job went off well, basically without a hitch, but the stress I placed on myself was telling to my family. I had spent a night or two tossing & turning, undoubtedly due to my daytime responsibilities that permeated my attempts at sleep.
One last scintilla of background information: around mid-week there was a wind storm that knocked down a tree in our yard. Now, a brief diversion so I can explain that our yard must be at least ten times larger than the postage stamp we called out yard where we used to live. As a point of reference, it took me about 45 minutes walking back & forth with a Craftsman mower to cut the lawn at the old house. The new one takes about two hours, but we now use a Cub Cadet riding mower with a 50" cutting radius!
So, I get up this morning & take a walk outside. Sure enough, the mid-week wind storm had toppled a dead tree onto our split rail fence down at the bottom of our property. I grabbed my trusty hand saw & proceeded to cut the offending tree to portable-sized logs that can be used some point in the future when we install a wood buring stove in our abode.
And, yes, we have a chain saw I could have used for this project. But it's a well known fact that heavy physical activity is a great reducer of stress. After today's exersize, I beleive I can confidentally state that I'm un-stresseed as hell!(2737 Reads)16 Comments Contact me!Posted by: Jack on Monday, January 07, 2008 - 06:31 PMIf you want to reach me, then send an e-mail to me by clicking HERE.
Now, I don't bite & certainly would love to hear from you. Believe it or not, I've had this web site up & runnin' for over five years and have yet to hear from one of my readers.
Is my drivel really that bad? Are my participles dangling too openly? What's wrong with me?
Please drop me a line by clicking HERE.
Come on, you can do it! As one Ed Koch, former mayor extraordinaire of NYC was wont to say, how am I doing?(1989 Reads)18 Comments A Life for the DogsPosted by: Jack on Sunday, January 06, 2008 - 07:28 AMIn addition to Netscrapes.com, I also jot down a word or two at my other web site. You can click HERE to be transported immediately to the Presto Dog web site. As you can imagine, this site's for and about our best friend, the dog.
We have five (yup, f...i...v...e) dogs - four Shetland Sheepdogs and a tri-color Collie. The Shelties, by age, are Lyric, Lily, Declan and Maggie; the Collie is named Dougie. All of 'em are great, each possessing a unique personality.
A bit about the dogs. Lyric (pictured here) is the mother of Declan (shown here) & grandmother of Maggie (pictured here). Lil'l Maggie is a show dog & has already earned a couple of ribbons in the ring. Lily (shown here) is a sweet dog, and usually gets whatever she wants by being so afectionate. Dougie is a clown, and probably thinks he's merely an over-sized Sheltie; click here to see a picture of him. When we take Maggie to shows, of course we hang out with the Sheltie crowd. So Dougie's thought proccesses are probably reinforced: he's an over-sized giant Sheltie.
As an earlier post down below this one alluded to, I'm gonna find out how to post pictures via html coding in a little while. In the meantime, if you wanna see a few digital pictires of the dogs or read about their antics, follow this link to be amused, laugh a bit and learn more about the Presto Dogs.(1952 Reads)comments? Ol' Time TVPosted by: Jack on Saturday, January 05, 2008 - 06:51 AMWell, it's Saturday morning, and before I start with my day's activities I turned on the TV. On the TV Land channel, the old-time TV show Leave It Toeaver was on. In case you don't recall, it's about the antics a young lad gets into during his elementary/high school years while living in a small US town. Accompanying the Beaver on his journey through life are his Dad (Ward), Mom (June) and older brother, Wally.
Dad is always dressed in a suit, usually even when he sits down to dinner. Mom is similarly attired (not in a suit but rather) in a dress, finely appointed with pearls around her neck. The house the family lives in is always impeccable, the lawn perfect and the two boys always addressed their father with "yes, sir;" other formalities were extended to s the kids would occasion with during their daily activities.
Now, this TV show took place during the early '60s, certainly a time when the US was quite innocent. And, I'm not espousing that kids should use a perfunctory"yes, sir" when speaking to s men. But is it my imagination or does this old show point out that something is missing in our society today? Sure, I guess it could be considered a semi-situation comedy, but check it out & see if the innocence portrayed, the respect shown to s, the ease with which everyone gets along is a veritable indictment against the society we live in today.
Life imitating art? I think not, but perhaps we could learn a lesson from "the way it used to be."(1947 Reads)comments? LinkPosted by: Jack on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 03:47 PMWant to see a site set up by my son? Then click HERE. Here's a picture: <img src=""http://www.prestodog.com/images/stories/backyard_8_6_07.jpg"" align="left" hspace="6">
(1703 Reads)comments? Great PicturesPosted by: Jack on Wednesday, January 02, 2008 - 03:32 PMA couple of years ago, I used to post pictures along with the drivel I posted here at Netscrapes.com . Wonder why I haven't done that lately? Well, it's simply 'cause I've been too darn lazy to look up the htlm coding that lets me insert 'em where they belong!
Is that the epitome of sloth or what?
Anyway, one of the resolutions I've made is to dig up the code in question so I can entertain you with my view(s) of the world. It's really not a big deal. As a matter of fact, I can just look up how I did it in a prior post, copy, find a new picture and insert it where I want.
In any event, come back as I'm gonna get this thing under my belt. And, of all the things in the world I could have chosen, are you wwondering why I selected conquering html coding as one ofmy new year's resolutions?
Some would say I gotta get a life. But, rest assured the afore mentioned resolution is but one I made. I'll share others with you in a future post.(1602 Reads)comments? New Year...Resolutions?Posted by: Jack on Tuesday, January 01, 2008 - 09:56 AMYup...it's that time of year again. As a matter of fact, it's the first day of the year, and that usually means one thing to most people...the time of year most folks take the time to make those infamous, herart wrenching, thought provoking commitments-otherwise known as resolutions...that are just as usually broken within a week...if not sooner. So, my tome this morning will deal with that topic-resolutions.
One web site I visited while researching this article (about.com) lists the top ten new year's resolutions people make each year:
spend more time with family and friends
get in shape lose weight
stop smoking
enjoy life more
stop drinking
get out of debt
learn something new
help
others get organized
But, folks seem to need some help in these endeavors. Here are a few ideas that can help people keep the resolutions they might make:
Avoid perfectionist thinking. While we certainly always want to better ourselves, it is healthier to think in positive terms than it is to focus on how much we fall short of our aspirations. In other words, students should view the grade of an A- as better than a B, rather than not as good as an A.
View setbacks as lessons for growth. Mistakes can be and usually are opportunities for learning. If you fall short of your goals, ask yourself what kept you from achieving them and then try to make corrections. People who like to sail understand this navigational concept. You almost never go directly from point A to point B. You set a course and periodically take readings of your position then make adjustments as you go along.
Don't make absolute resolutions. Keep them realistic. For example, Dubin suggests that instead of saying you won't yell at your kids anymore, resolve to yell at them less often.
Don't keep your resolutions to yourself. Tell someone you trust about your resolutions. Dubin said that it helps to share your goals with friends, who can gently nudge you in the right direction when you veer off course.
Give them some meaning. According to RachBeisel, people sometimes make goals that aren't necessarily meaningful to them. Your goal should be something you really desire to change or achieve, not something that society says is good for you to do or your family members would like to see you do. If you don't have strong, internal motivation within yourself, you won't be successful.
Take baby steps. Set realistic goals that are attainable and then take small steps that are likely to be met with success toward those goals. Don't try to lose 10 pounds in a week or quitting smoking cold turkey with no preparation. Instead, try joining a weight loss program and try to lose a pound a week, or join a smoking cessation group.
Fine-tune your spirituality. Dubin said that it is important to add a spiritual dimension to your goals. For example, if one of your goals is to get fit, you may also resolve to get outdoors more often instead of going to the gym. Time outside will help you get in balance with nature, and will honor both the physical and spiritual sides of yourself.
(Thanks to the Univ. of MD for those tips.)
And, here are some resolutions made by some top entrepreneurs:
Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad
"To be a better communicator—vs. a 'better curser.' I keep blaming the Marine Corp. for the fact that I curse a lot...and in the new year, I'll work on swearing less and communicating better."
Alex Tew, creator of MillionDollarHomepage.com
"My New Year's resolution is to have more time to think. It's really easy to get bogged down in day-to-day issues and not have perspective or freedom to think creatively."
Jen Bilik, founder and owner of Knock Knock
"For business, my resolution is to move further ahead in our development cycle by starting to develop products earlier and give longer lead time. I'd also like to spend less time on administrative matters, and more time on creative development and strategy. On a personal level, I'd like to minimize my own crankiness and exercise regularly, regardless of my workload. I'll try to walk my dog daily--she deserves it, and it's good for me, too. I plan to eat healthy meals more consistently and work on reviving my personal life."
Joseph Einhorn, co-founder and CTO of Inform Technologies
"My resolution is to become a better listener and to listen more closely to our customers."
Mark A. Emalfarb, president and CEO of Dyadic International, Inc.
"To continue making great strides to further our scientific discoveries and to commercialize them into products that will improve health care, reduce the world's addiction to oil and ultimately provide a healthier, cleaner, brighter future for our children."
Sona Mehring, founder and executive director of CaringBridge
"To take compassion, technology and CaringBridge to new heights. To reach out and help more and more families going through a health crisis. I want to have a minimum of 250,000 CaringBridge sites created, connecting 2.5 million people."
Gerald Prolman, founder and CEO of OrganicBouquet.com
"To do all I can every day to make a positive and meaningful difference"
David Roth, president and CEO, and Rick Bacher, CCO, of Cereality Cereal Bar & Café
"We both have the same New Year's resolution: to take back Saturday morning! As you probably know, our whole business is built on the promise of delivering a Saturday morning experience to each of our customers, no matter what time of day or week they visit us. So we make it our mission, personally and professionally, to instill the spirit of Saturday morning in everything we do--especially when it comes time to make New Year's resolutions!"
Donald Trump, chair and president of The Trump Organization
"My New Year's resolution for 2007 is to make 2007 the best year ever!"
Greg Ubert, founder and president of Crimson Cup
"To get 100 percent of Crimson Cup's employees involved with Junior Achievement."
Debbie Weiner, co-founder of Sugar Sweet Sunshine
"Everyday I read a passage from my Angel Wisdom book. There was one passage that seemed profound to me even though I'm sure I've read it before. It seemed so simple, it's titled, "Happiness": Live in the now and be awake to new experiences. See events as interesting and instructive instead of good or bad. Accept people as they are. Give up suffering and worrying. Be generous with my love.
"One more resolution is to get myself ready for MORE magazine's half-marathon for women age 40-plus. Forty rocks so far."
Tina Wells, CEO of Buzz Marketing Group
"My resolution is to take six trips outside the United States next year. London and Zurich are at the top of my list!"
Lena L. West, founder and CEO of xynoMedia Technology
"I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions. In the past when I've set resolutions and didn't quite stick to them, it made me subconsciously doubt my inner resolve and that didn't feel good. So, I started working with one of the top wellness coaches in the country, Cheryl Miller, and she helped me to shift my thoughts and plans for the incoming year to a New Year's evolution.
"My New Year's 'evolution' is to make going on silent retreats an annual tradition. For the past two years, I've been saying I want to go on a silent retreat--this year, I made it happen. Alone, with no books, music, magazines, radio, internet, computer or TV, I spent three days at a women's retreat center in bucolic Cornwall-on-Hudson. The first day-and-a-half was pure hell, but I stuck with it and the remainder of my stay was pure bliss. I got unprecedented clarity about my business and my life. I made a list of everything that was no longer serving the business and transitioned those relationships and agreements immediately upon my return to the office. The results? A stress-free annual strategy session, and now we're only involved in projects that are in alignment with the direction of the company. I'm inching way up to two weeks of total silence which is a huge stretch, so in 2007, I'll up the ante slightly to five days."
(Thanks to Entrepreneur magazine.)
Are yout goals money-orienteds? Here are four good tips from about.com on setting financial goals:
Step 1: Identify and write down your financial goals, whether they are saving to send your kids to college, buying a new car, saving for a down payment on a house, going on vacation, paying off credit card debt, or planning for retirement.
Step 2: Break each financial goal down into several short-term (less than 1 year), medium-term (1 to 3 years) and long-term (5 years or more) goals.
Step 3: Educate yourself! Read Money magazine, or a book about investing, or surf the Internet's investing web sites. The stock market is not voodoo. With a little effort you can learn enough to make educated decisions that will increase your net worth many times over. Then identify small, measurable steps you can take to achieve these goals, and put this action plan to work.
Step 4: Evaluate your progress. Review your progress monthly, quarterly, or at any other interval you feel comfortable with, but at least semi-annually, to determine if your program is working. If you're not making satisfactory progress on a particular goal, re-evaluate your approach and make changes as necessary.
Good luck in the new year in whatever resolutions you may make!(1886 Reads)19 Comments Happy, Holy ChristmasPosted by: Jack on Monday, December 24, 2007 - 03:38 PMMy family & I are heading out the Christmas Eve Mass in just a few minutes. It's certainly a time of joyous praise, but I'll undoubtedly spend a moment or two reflecting on other famly members who are no longer with us...at least on this side of eternity.
For, when it's my turn to leave this life, I will see my Mom, my older brother, my younger sister, beloved aunts and uncles, other relatives, friends and acquaintances when I'm no longer on this dear planet Earth. Where, you may ask, will I be?
Well, friend, if you don't know where I'm gonna be after I die, you've certainly got some serious leg worth & learning ahead of you. What the heck think happens when you're no longer alive? What have you been doing all your life? Why have you been granted the gift of life, anyway?
But, it's Christmas. For anyone who doesn't know what this holy day is all about, I revert to that saying that Mt. T (a.k.a. B.A. Barakas) on "The A Team" used to espouse years ago: Pity the Fool!
Have a Merry, no, make that a Holy Christmas. Be safe, and bless you and your on this special day.(2289 Reads)comments? Freezing WeatherPosted by: Jack on Saturday, December 22, 2007 - 06:34 AMAs visitors to this site probably already know, we moved to a rural area about seven monts ago. The summer seemed to be as warm as it was in the old area we lived in, about 85 miles or so east from our current residence, but it seems the winter is a bit colder than what we'd previously experienced.
And then there's the sky. About a week or two ago, as I travelled home from my day job, I glanced up at the sky & saw a beautiful pink and blue canvas, with puffs of billowing clouds punctuating Mother Nature's attempt to mimic Van Gough, Degas and other mere humans. Nolo contendre, she won..
We'll shortly be heading out to continue our Christmas shopping. Yesterday, I took of from work & we performed in a simiar manner, making a huge dent in our attempts to support the U.S. economy.
But, I make those statements with a smile on my face. Our van is nice and roomy, there's money in our checking account and it's really not necessary to make any overt efforts to squirrel away our purchases from prying little eyes.
So, I'll sign off for now, get my wallet and venture out into the wilds of the mall and other stores to finish shopping. My bride will be with me, and we'll probably even stop for a pleasant lunch while we're out.
Are you done with your shopping yet?(1966 Reads)comments? Chicken SoupPosted by: Jack on Sunday, December 16, 2007 - 01:50 PMLooking out the double rear doors in our living room, I'm presented with a scene that Ol' Man Winter spent hours creating. Trees are sheathed in a coating of crystal clear ice, the ground has been covered with glistenng snow and the sun, for a few minutes at least, broke through the clouds and spread its late afternoon radiance as a finishing touch. Spectacular? Yes, I admit it was something to see.
Taking our dogs out, I found that underneath my feet crunched as I waited for them to do their business. See, for a while it was raining, and then it froze, so a thin layer of ice had formed over everything. The dogs were light enough to walk over the ice without a problem, but my bulk just couldn't be supported by the thin veneer. I needed to excert a very deliberate gait to simply walk around with my pack.
BTW, we do have a large expanse of land. I usually let the dogs, all five of 'em, simply run around in the backyard that's all fenced in. But earlier in the day our big Collie named Dougie somehow received a small laceration on his right-rear paw. I noticed it as I was playing in the snow with the other four dogs we own; all Shetland Sheepdogs.
Anyway, as I was kicking around a ball for my crew, I happened to notice red stains on the ground. Looking more closely, I saw it was blood! Inspecting the feet of the pack, I saw it was coming from the aforementioned Dougie on the foot noted. So we had to trudge back into the house to affect some repairs. It was no big deal, but I didn't want him running around, opening up the cut any more so our trips out for the rest of the day were at the end of a leash.
It's getting dark out now and I've turned on our Christmas decorations. A large, smiling snowman can be seen waving to passers-by; traditional multi-colored lights are attached to our rain gutters; Santa's sled with two reindeer are off to one side and a Manger is near where we enter/exit our home. I just returned from putting a spotlight to illuminate this hand-made cut-out; it's the one we consider our nicest decoration.
After all, His birth is what this season is all about...remember?(2094 Reads)comments? A Canine Cavalcade of StarsPosted by: Jack on Saturday, December 15, 2007 - 01:26 PMAs some of you may know, one of the passions that I engae in with my bride is to attend dog shows. And, we recently upped the ante by acquiring a real, honest-to-goodness show dog.
She's a Shetland Sheepdog, is nine months old and has already entered three dog shows. More importantly, at least for those who keep score of these kind of things, is that she's taken a first and second place in two of those shows. Granted, the one she didn't take any "honors" in was sobering, 'cause the judge walked right past the little dog, not even glancing in her direction or acknowledging her very existence. Such are the visisitudes of the dog world.
The event we entered today (12/15/07) was held at Lehigh University in PA. It was crowded as all heck, with dog crates, grooming equipment, owners and handlers all over the indoor field house where the event was held.
My bride has the responsibility of brushing, trimming, combing and actually showing the dog in the ring. This latter responsibility consists of walking the dog in a pattern that'll entice the judge to see her best qualities. This might be the dog's left side, its right side, straight on, etc. Accentuate the positive, if you will.
Our dog, Maggie, apparently did something right as she now owns a Second Place ribbon for her most recent efforts in the ring today. Someday, we hope to garner enough first-place winnings that will, in turn, bestow upon her the coveted title of CHAMPION.(2491 Reads)comments? Other Stories· Great Literary Taunts (Nov 26, 2008)· Proverbs & Wise Sayings You Can Live By (Oct 12, 2008)· Errata (Sep 13, 2008)· Trapped...in a World Trade Center Elevator (Aug 09, 2008)· Painting Spree (Jul 20, 2008)· Lies, Lies and Oil (Jul 16, 2008)· Gas Prices (Jun 13, 2008)· Extended Absence (Jun 01, 2008)· Expressions (May 20, 2008)· What Makes Marriage Work? (May 05, 2008)Categories Menu· Old Content (Aug 06, 2004)· Work in Progress (Jun 13, 2008)PollWhat do you think of the essays/articles here at Netscrapes?· They're interesting· They're a bit verbous· They're great· They're terrbile· Writer shouldn't quit his day job[ Results | Polls ]Votes: 0Comments: 7Login Username Password Remember me Log in Problems? New User? Sign Up!Past ArticlesSaturday, December 08·My Heritage (1)Sunday, December 02·Snow at New Home (0)Tuesday, November 27·Microwave Mastery (0)Monday, September 24·Procrastination (2)Wednesday, September 19·Ideation (5)Tuesday, September 18·Funny Home Remedies (2)Monday, September 17·Funny Quips (34)Wednesday, September 12·World Trade Center (4)Monday, September 10·Wisdom of the Ages (3)Thursday, September 06·The Strongest Man in the World (525) Older ArticlesPostNuke :: PostNuke Support :: Developers Dance as if no one is watching, sing as if no one is listening & love as if you have never been hurt. |
|
