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Healthy Strokes - Masturbation and Morefunction OpenComments (c) { window.open(c, 'comments', 'width=480,height=480,scrollbars=yes,status=yes');}function OpenTrackback (c) { window.open(c, 'trackback', 'width=480,height=480,scrollbars=yes,status=yes');}function showMore(varA1, varB1){var123 = ('varXYZ' + (varA1));varABC = ('varP' + (varA1));if( document.getElementById ) {if( document.getElementById(var123).style.display ) {if( varB1 != 0 ) {document.getElementById(var123).style.display = "block";document.getElementById(varABC).style.display = "none";} else { document.getElementById(var123).style.display = "none"; document.getElementById(varABC).style.display = "block"; }} else { location.href = varB1;return true; }} else { location.href = varB1;return true; }}HealthyStrokes.com... a site about masturbation and you!Main PagesWhat Is Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS)Male masturbationFemale masturbationFor young malesFor young femalesQuestions from readersMale questionsNewest questionsPenis and anatomyual response & pubertyFantasies, fetishes & unusual practicesual problems, aches & pains with partnersFemale questionsNewest questionsFemale anatomy: vulvas, hymens, vaginasMasturbatory technique and female ual responseual orientation, fantasies, and unusual behaviorMasturbation toys: vibrators, dildoes, and other objects with partnersSpecial topicsMasturbation for ChristiansQuestions from parentsVirginityCircumcisionWet dreamsBeing caught masturbatingMasturbating in dormsTraumatic Masturbatory SyndromeCase studies of TMSOnline support group for males with TMSBrief case studies and comments about TMSArticles about TMSGraphs demonstrating the impact of TMSResults of the TMS survey of malesResults of the TMS survey of femalesSpecial pagesTake the male surveySee the resultsTake the female surveySee the resultsGlossary of ual termsContact authorIllustrationsMale ual anatomy Penis anatomySimplified penis anatomyDifferent types of penisesUncircumcised penisInternal organsThe path for semenMale ual responseFemale ual anatomyClitorisVulva anatomySide viewInternal organsFemale ual responseVulva in ual excitementHymen galleryNerves of male and female genitals comparedWhat's New?Latest additions to this siteFacts about Traumatic Masturbatory SyndromeEXECUTIVE SUMMARYTraumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit of masturbating prone. It causes severe ual dysfunction in most males who practice it. This web site describes TMS and the problems of its sufferers and offers case studies and approaches to becoming cured.Part of this page can be printed as a PDF brochure. (If printing 2-sided, use the setting "flip on short edge" under Options.) Male masturbation survey is available again!Attention guys! Do you like to take surveys? The male masturbation survey is back online. Won't you please help us out by completing it? It is completely anonymous. Click here to take this fun and interesting survey.What is Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome?Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS) is the habit some males have of masturbating in a face-down (prone) position. Some TMS practitioners rub their penises against the mattress, pillow, or other bedding, while others thrust into their hand. Some rub against the floor.What's wrong with masturbating in this fashion?Masturbating face-down puts excessive pressure on the penis, and especially on the base of the penis. These sensations are not easily replicated in conventional masturbation or in ual intercourse. This can make TMS practitioners unable to have normal ual relations. A survey conducted for this website revealed that males who masturbate conventionally have 6.6 times more often than TMS practitioners. The most common problems TMS sufferers have are inorgasmia (also called anorgasmia; it's the inability to have an orgasm during intercourse); or delayed orgasm. Many TMS sufferers also have trouble getting erections. It's a common experience among males who are used to masturbating face-down to engage in ual intercourse for over half an hour, fail to have an orgasm, and then try to reach orgasm in an atypical (and usually unenjoyable) way, such as thrusting the penis against his partner's legs, palm, or bed. Needless to say, the female partners of these men find their behavior unusual and disturbing. These women often wonder if they are to blame for the man's inability to reach orgasm through intercourse. The graph shows that half of TMS males have inorgasmia or delayed orgasm during ual intercourse almost all of the time, while no non-TMS males do. Another 9 percent of TMS males have this problem most of the time, while only 4 percent of non-TMS males do. Nearly 60 percent of males who masturbate prone suffer from inorgasmia or delayed orgasm most of the time they have ual intercourse, while only 4 percent of males who masturbate supine do. The graph shows that nearly a third of males who masturbate prone suffer from erectile dysfunction most of the time they have ual intercourse, while only 5 percent of males who masturbate supine do. Two thirds of males who masturbate face-down suffer from erectile dysfunction during ual intercourse at least sometimes, while 86 percent of males who masturbate face-up rarely or never have this problem.These things are understandable consequences of prone masturbation. Even males who masturbate the conventional way don't get as much stimulation from intercourse as from masturbation. (Because in masturbation one can control precisely the type, force, and location of the stimulation one gets, while in intercourse a lot of that is not under control.) For TMS practitioners, the amount of stimulation in intercourse is a small fraction of what they get masturbating.How did they develop TMS?More than 90 percent of males learn to masturbate through self-discovery. The males who practice TMS unfortunately self-discovered the wrong way. Males who learn to masturbate from other people invariably learn to do it the correct way. (Most males who discover it for themselves also discover the correct way.)What's the correct way?Over 90 percent of males lie on their backs and make a fist around their penises and stroke in an up and down motion. Nearly all TMS practitioners are aware that males usually masturbate this way, but many think that their way is merely a harmless variation, or even that it's better than regular masturbation. All men who masturbate face-down think the way they masturbate is more similar to missionary-style intercourse than conventional masturbation is.Isn't it?Only in the sense that sitting on a park bench is more similar to piloting a boat from a chair than piloting a boat while standing is. For some reason, the amount of pressure the penis gets (and the parts of it that get stimulated) in intercourse are more similar to conventional masturbation than to face-down masturbation. It defies what every TMS practitioner regards as common sense, but those who masturbate the typical way have the fewest problems adjusting to intercourse.How many people suffer from TMS?While definitive data are not readily available, some informal, non-scientific research suggests that as many as 10-15 percent of males masturbate face down as their main method of masturbating, although most scientific estimates are closer to five percent. The graph shows that 80 percent of males who masturbate face-up say that intercourse is more fun than masturbation, but only 57 percent of males who masturbate face-down agree. This indicates that males with TMS don't enjoy intercourse as much as other males.When was TMS defined as a problem?TMS was first pathologized in a 1998 article in the Journal of and Marital Therapy by Dr. Lawrence I. Sank of the Cognitive Therapy Center of Greater Washington in Bethesda, Maryland.When was TMS first documented?The ancient Romans had a word for it. They referred to male masturbation by different words depending on how it was done. The word for the TMS method was trudo, which literally means "I thrust." No doubt this stemmed from the open way in which masturbation and other bodily functions were carried out in ancient Rome. Is it always harmful to masturbate prone?Yes. While much of the popular information about masturbation on the Internet promotes face-down masturbation as merely a harmless variation, individuals who suffer from TMS report that the effects of this behavior are generally cumulative. So, although practicing TMS on occasion may not produce any immediately noticeable negative effects, this behavior over time can result in a gradual or sudden loss of ual function. Since every time you practice this behavior you are applying unnatural pressure and stimulation to your genitalia, it is never a good idea to engage in this type of masturbation. Dr. Sank supports this in his article, reiterating that masturbation is supposed to be performed with the hand while lying supine. The challenge for the TMS sufferer is to learn to masturbate that way -- every time -- and to restore sensitivity to the penis for successful .The very nature of TMS means that it can only be done in bed. Normal males can masturbate almost anywhere. The graphs show that males who masturbate face down do almost all their masturbating in bed and hardly any in the bathroom. The "other" in their case too often means their bedroom floor. Meanwhile, males who masturbate face up have more variety in terms of location, with bed and bathroom being approximately equal along with "other," which in their case is more likely to mean the living room or computer desk. How prevalent are the problems TMS sufferers have in bed?A survey conducted for this website revealed that those who masturbate face down are five times more likely than those who masturbate face up to have erectile dysfunction and twelve times more likely to have inorgasmia.Most men with TMS, if they can have intercourse at all, are usually limited to the "missionary" position. They also report an inability to achieve orgasm from fellatio. Of course, manual stimulation by a partner does them no good. The majority of males who masturbate conventionally have had intercourse successfully in at least five positions. The graph shows that more than 90 percent of both males who masturbate face down and males who masturbate face up have succeeded at least once at missionary intercourse. However, while four other blue bars, representing success in other intercourse positions by males who masturbate face up, tower past the 50 percent mark, no other red bars, representing success in those positions by males who masturbate face up do. The implication is clear: Males who masturbate face down, if they can have intercourse at all, are limited to the missionary position. Does TMS cause physical damage in addition to these psychological problems?Possibly. The penis wasn't designed for such brutal contact. But most males can become normal by merely "unlearning" TMS behavior, which suggests that the physical damage is minor or even non-existent.How does one unlearn traumatic masturbation?One has to stop masturbating in prone fashion and learn to do it the conventional way. This might take a bit of time and practice. Many TMS sufferers can masturbate the conventional way if they haven't had an orgasm for an extended period of time, perhaps a week. By limiting masturbation to only when they can do it without resorting to their old (face-down) habits, they can learn to masturbate conventionally.I've been masturbating every day since junior high school, and I can't conceive of quitting now!No one is asking you to quit masturbating, only to stop masturbating prone. According to Dr. Sank, most TMS sufferers practice the habit daily. (Many normal males -- and most younger ones -- masturbate daily too.) You can quit for days at a time. Your penis will be more sensitive after a period of abstinence and this will make it easier for you to learn to masturbate manually.I masturbate to help me sleep at night. This makes me reluctant to quit even for a week.Many males masturbate at bedtime. But one must forego daily masturbation at least as long as is necessary to habituate the penis to regular masturbation. It might be necessary to use other means of falling asleep in the meantime. A prescription or non-prescription sleep aid might be helpful.I masturbate in TMS fashion and I'm a virgin. I have no problem getting a nice, firm erection whenever I want one. Why should I believe that I'll have ual problems someday?First of all, it's not possible to will yourself to have an erection. That fact is well established. If it seems like you can, it's because when you're young Spontaneous erections are frequent; and Erections come easily with very little stimulation. But as you age, these things change, regardless of your ual experience and masturbation style. If you're under 20, you're probably used to awakening with an erection almost every morning. When you get to be 21 or so, you'll find that spontaneous erections -- which come as often as every 90 minutes during the teen years -- will be much less frequent, and eventually waking up hard will also be a rare rather than common thing.This is something every man has to deal with, and the change is compounded in the TMS sufferer. As you become more and more habituated to the feelings you get from TMS, you will have a more difficult time achieving an erection without that level of stimulation. Many men first realize TMS is a problem when they find they don't have an erection when they start a masturbation session -- and sometimes they don't even have one when they reach orgasm.The good news is that if you're young and ually inexperienced, you can cure yourself of TMS more easily than an older man can, and you can be cured before you ever have to explain your difficulties to a partner.I masturbate in TMS fashion occasionally and I'm not a virgin. I don't have any problems having with women at all.Consider yourself lucky. You obviously learned to masturbate the conventional way and just tried TMS as a variation. In your case, an occasional masturbation face down is similar to eating raw eggs. You might be lucky and escape getting sick even though you eat raw eggs. But why take unnecessary chances? Since you know other ways of having orgasms, why not refrain from masturbating prone? It's not worth the risk.Some women like it that I can make love for a half hour without orgasming. Isn't this an advantage of TMS?No, it isn't. If a man can refrain from ejaculating until a woman is satisfied, it can be a good thing, but only if the man is controlling it. It is not a good thing when a man has to have for half an hour because he doesn't know how to finish.Is it necessary to masturbate at all?Yes, it's necessary for males to masturbate. Let's take a step back from masturbation and talk about ejaculation. It's necessary for males past puberty to ejaculate. The male ual organs produce a number of fluids that have to be eliminated periodically. While there is no regular schedule that has to be followed, just like there's no schedule for how often one must urinate, it is generally agreed that a male must ejaculate at least once every two weeks to avoid damage to his ual functioning. However, more than 98% of males under the age of 60 ejaculate much more often than this.So ejaculation is necessary. If a male doesn't ejaculate by having intercourse (or wet dreams, which are quite uncommon in boys who have learned how to masturbate) -- then masturbation is necessary. So as a practical matter, yes, it's necessary for males to masturbate. Very few males claim to never masturbate, and some authorities say there are no males past puberty who never masturbate. The average male will masturbate over 1000 times before he ever has ual intercourse. How often is it normal to masturbate?Again, it's not like asking how often do buses run on this line. There's considerable variance among males, even in the same age group. A rule of thumb in males under 30 is M = 8 - (2 * I)where M is the weekly masturbation frequency and I is the weekly frequency of ual intercourse. So, a male under 30 who has intercourse twice a week probably masturbates four times a week while one without a partner probably masturbates eight times a week. Your mileage may vary.Can anything be done to prevent TMS?Yes. Although most men would probably hide in a cave first, TMS can be prevented if fathers would tell their sons the correct way to masturbate when they're about 13. It would also be useful if males that age could learn the proper way to masturbate in ed and also that TMS is bad.Which way to the nearest cave?Oh no! Just print this page for young people out and give it to him. It contains all the information he needs and nothing his parents don't want him to know.Is professional help an option in dealing with TMS?It might be useful, but it's not necessary. Any competent therapist who knows about TMS will tell you the behavior has to cease. If it's easier for you to stop masturbating prone because a therapist tells you to rather than because you read it here, then by all means hire a therapist.Informal help is available from other TMS practioners online. A support group was started in February 2002 on Yahoo! groups. To subscribe, click here or see the box at the bottom of this page.How can I stop masturbating against the bed (prone)?Remember, you don't need to quit masturbating. You only need to modify the way you practice it. You taught yourself how to masturbate face-down, and now you can teach yourself to masturbate face-up. It'll be easier this time around because you already know which buttons to push, but it'll be harder too, since you have to set aside some of the shortcuts to orgasm you've been taking. What follows are some exercises to help you quit masturbating prone. Please note that they are really parts of the same program rather than separate strategies.TMS cessation exercise no. 1: Will PowerYou have to abstain from masturbating until you can do it using only your hand while lying on your back. You might already know how many days of abstinence will let you masturbate with your hand. If so, pick that as a target. Let's say it's seven days. (If you've never masturbated the conventional way, start by abstaining for seven days.) Pick a date and time seven days from your last orgasm (which in this example was Tuesday at 7 AM). Make a chart that looks like this:DayTimeHours elapsedHours to goTue.8:00 AM11679:00 AM216610:00 AM316511:00 AM416412:00 PM51631:00 PM61622:00 PM71613:00 PM8160etc.Ending like this:DayTimeHours elapsedHours to goTue.12:00 AM16171:00 AM16262:00 AM16353:00 AM16444:00 AM16535:00 AM16626:00 AM16717:00 AM1680Click here to make a complete weekly chart.NOTE: If you have a partner, you also have to abstain from with them during the abstention period. It's really abstention from ejaculation as much as from masturbation.It really makes it easier to go that time when you can look at the chart (hourly, if your will power needs that much boosting) and see how many hours left. There's an enormous sense of satisfaction at the four day point when there are more hours elapsed than hours to go. Remember, if you yield to temptation and masturbate before the period is up, you will have wasted that many elapsed hours and have to start over again.Here's a tip -- sleeping with more clothing on will make it more difficult to "inadvertently" start masturbating in your sleep. Try wearing underwear and pajama bottoms, or underwear and sweat pants. It's a lot easier to get stimulated in bed when you're naked (which is probably why people sleep naked).It's a good idea to leave your penis alone as much as possible during your abstention period. Don't fondle it in the intervening days in order to "warm it up." Avoid having erections if at all possible. When the end of your abstention period arrives, proceed to masturbate using only the correct method. Try to use as little force as you can (i.e., don't grip very hard). Do not resort to TMS style if the correct method doesn't work right away! After a week without an orgasm, even the most veteran TMS practitioner should have no trouble masturbating to orgasm using the standard method. If orgasm through conventional masturbation then occurs easily (less than 5 minutes), try abstaining for only five days. If it took longer than five minutes, do another seven day abstention period. Once you've succeeded after only five days, try four, and so on. Within a month, you will likely be at the point where you can masturbate as often as you like using only the conventional method.Quitting masturbation is never easy, even for only a few days. This is especially true when making a conscious effort to not masturbate, as opposed to abstaining for a few days because of necessity. Orgasm is not only physically pleasurable, it brings a sense of comfort and security to people. So you need to deal not only with the pressures you're getting physically, but also with the psychological benefits you get from masturbating.TMS cessation exercise no. 2: Location, location, location! Many males associate being in their bedrooms with masturbation as much as with sleep -- and there's really nothing wrong with that. But if that automatic connection is driving you to masturbate when you'd rather be abstaining, try spending as little time in the bedroom as possible. In fact, go someplace where you know you'll never be able to masturbate.Go home only to sleep. Spend your evenings away from home.If you're tempted even being in bed only to sleep, try sleeping in a recliner in the living room or in the driver's seat of your car.If you live with other people, leave your bedroom door open at night.Remember, you'll be done with these restrictions as soon as you cure yourself of TMS.TMS cessation exercise no. 3: Lose the visual stimuliWhen you're trying to abstain, lock up those magazines and videos that help you masturbate. Avoid watching things on TV where things of a stimulating nature are apt to appear. When it's time to masturbate at the end of your abstention period, you won't need any visual aids (and possibly you won't even need a ual fantasy!)TMS cessation exercise no. 4: Use a sleep aidThe over-the-counter remedy Benadryl has a variety of uses. One of them is to help people fall asleep faster. Most of the OTC sleep aids contain Benadryl (diphenhydramine). Taking Benadryl while trying to abstain will not only help you fall asleep faster, reducing the amount of time you spend trying to fall asleep, it might even keep you from getting an erection in that time period. Caution should be exercised in starting any new drug. It's a good idea to consult your doctor before trying Benadryl or any sleep aid.TMS cessation exercise no. 5: Step down to your handIf you're having trouble giving up TMS-style masturbation, try thrusting into your hand instead of whatever you're thrusting into now. While still a form of TMS, thrusting into your hand is less harmful than thrusting against bedding, the floor, or some other object. A TMS practitioner ought to be able to switch to thrusting into his hand without much trouble. It helps to use a water-based lube like K-Y Liquid (not K-Y Jelly). Think of this change as a transitional step to make a complete elimination of TMS easier.How long should it take for me to be cured of TMS? And what does getting cured mean?Getting cured means you can masturbate the conventional way as often as you like and don't feel the need to masturbate face-down anymore. Teenaged guys seem to get cured in less than two weeks. Older guys take a little longer. Once you can masturbate daily, you'll notice yourself becoming more sensitive. When I'm cured, can I have intercourse without problems?You should be completely cured (i.e., able to masturbate daily the conventional way) for at least a month (and perhaps longer) before attempting intercourse. There might also be a learning curve as you get used to the somewhat different feeling of post-TMS intercourse. Even so, you should be much more successful at making love than you were before you quit TMS.It looks like the cure program will take a month, and you're saying to wait a month before having intercourse. Why can't I just have intercourse after my week of abstaining instead of masturbating?Some guys have tried, but no one has been cured of TMS by having intercourse. The cure for TMS is learning to masturbate the conventional way. You have to masturbate the conventional way on a daily basis for at least a month (maybe longer) before you will have unlearned TMS. Having intercourse sooner might not only be unsuccessful but also threatens to undo the progress you've made in getting cured of TMS.Can my partner and I do anything ual during this time?During the initial abstinence period, when you're working on learning to masturbate by hand for the first few times, do absolutely nothing with your partner, and try not to stimulate yourself either (except, of course, when you masturbate after the proper abstinence period). Once you're at the point where you can masturbate every other day by hand in a reasonable amount of time, you can stimulate your partner ually by hand or mouth. After she's had enough, you can masturbate alone. (It's probably a bad idea for her to watch at that point. You don't need to be self-conscious about your new method.) When you've masturbated by hand daily for a month, then you and your partner should try intercourse. (You'll like it a lot better than before!)You say sleeping with clothes on will keep one from "inadvertently" masturbating in one's sleep. What does that mean?Some find they masturbate involuntarily while they're sleeping. Sleep masturbation almost always happens when one is sleeping . The penis erects, and the person somehow starts thrusting. This is different from a wet dream because the penis doesn't need stimulation in a wet dream.I can't wait to watch myself ejaculate! That's something I can't see when I'm masturbating on my stomach. You should avoid watching. Since you're not used to seeing it, it will make you self-conscious and ironically you won't ejaculate as much as if you were still on your stomach. Wait until you're used to ejaculating that way and then enjoy the show. How long should it take to masturbate by hand?You should be able to reach orgasm by masturbation in 5 to 10 minutes. If you're very young -- or have been abstaining from ejaculation for 5 days or more -- it might not take even that long. 10 minutes is a good target time. If it takes longer than 15 minutes, that might be a sign of mental distraction that's interfering with your masturbation. Turning off distractions (TV, radio, etc.) will help you focus on what you're doing, and using a ual fantasy (and often pictures) helps to keep you on track. A sign that you're masturbating in a healthy fashion is that you recognize that orgasm is imminent but consciously decide to put it off for a while so you can enjoy masturbating longer. That's a skill that will be most useful when having with women.Lots of young males can masturbate to orgasm in a minute or so, but that's not a skill you can use during intercourse. A woman won't be satisfied that quickly. You're doing yourself a favor if you can delay your orgasm. Even if you can't make it 10-15 minutes, even 5 minutes is better than one minute.If you're getting cured of TMS, orgasms are apt to come more quickly than you're used to once you're cured. Then you just need to develop the same techniques to extend your masturbation time that you used the first time you learned how to do it.Once I learn to masturbate conventionally, can I still do it TMS style on occasion?That's a very bad idea. It isn't called "traumatic" because it's good for you. What it really is, is painful. It's damaging your uality mentally, and perhaps also physically. You should celebrate being cured by vowing never to go back. Most "cheat" occasionally in the first few months after being cured. When you have no desire to "cheat" anymore, that's another sign that you're cured.Will orgasms be as good after I'm cured?They might be different. If you think that means they're not as good, maybe you need to change your thinking. TMS might have given you awesome orgasms, but they came at the expense of having orgasms in other situations -- and with other people. More likely, they will be every bit as good, and all the more varied. Once you're cured, you might not even remember what TMS was like. You'll be every bit as ually functional as a man who's never masturbated prone.Overall, being cured of your TMS will make you more whole ually.Is all this TMS stuff real, or is it just someone having a joke? It's real for me, as a former sufferer, and it's real for the hundreds and perhaps even thousands of former TMS practitioners (and their partners) who have been helped by this site. The people who regard it as a joke are lucky enough that they learned to masturbate in the usual way when they were young and don't need a site like this to tell them why they've been having trouble in ual relations with women for years or even decades.Why is there nothing about your qualifications on this site?I am a scholar at a major research university (in a field unrelated to uality), and there is a question whether this web site would fall under the jurisdiction of their policies on use of human subjects in research and other matters if I identified myself with my affiliation to the university on the site.Part of this page can be printed as a PDF brochure. (If printing 2-sided, use the setting "flip on short edge" under Options.)Contact authorJoin an online support group for TMS sufferers. Simply enter your e-mail address in the box and click "join now."Subscribe to tmssupportPowered by groups.yahoo.com Case studies from TMS sufferers and commentsRead case studiesRead comments from TMS sufferers and others who have visited this site.REFERENCES:Lawrence I. Sank, Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. Journal of and Marital Therapy 24(1): 37-42 (1998). For more information about this reference, see the articles page.Cruel.com named this their site of the day on February 19, 2002. This was the site of the week of WKLS-FM Atlanta from February 25, 2002. This site mentioned in the "Playboy Advisor" column in Playboy, September 2002, p. 47, December 2003, p. 59, and August 2006, p. 41. This document created February 4, 2002. Updated March 15, 2008. These pages updated daily or nearly so: Newest male questions. Newest female questions.There are no pictures or on this site.masterbate masterbated masterbating masterbation masturbator masturbators masterbaters beat jack off jacking off jacked off jerk off jerking off jerked off play plays played playing with himself myself yourself can't cum inside her can't come during from a blow job a hand jobMale masturbation survey is available again!Attention guys! Do you like to take surveys? The male masturbation survey is back online. Won't you please help us out by completing it? It is completely anonymous. Click here to take this fun and interesting survey.HealthyStrokes.com is not designed to provide medical advice and does not provide medical advice. All material is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on HealthyStrokes.com carefully and confer with your doctor, psychologist, or other health care professional as needed. var site="s12traumatic"  |
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