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Title: Religion and Spirituality/Humor - SatireWire: Religious Merger Creates 900 Million Hinjews "Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they had instead created
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SatireWire | RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWSrnum=Math.round(Math.random() * 100000);document.write('');Click Here   SatireWire     Provider of Satire   Home Book Archives Features Briefs Charts Popular Reaction Links SW Store About Please NoteUMTHINGSHistory Tour T-Shirts and UmWear. V. Funny, V. SmartCAMEO Cool Estate Jewelry. Impress her for once.MyPunchBowlThrow Your Best Party Yet. FARK.COMIt's not news, it's Drew's. BBSPOT.COM It's not Drew, it's BrianHUMORFEED It's not Brian, it's Everyone The Angel Anthony Group e-solutions for your business RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEWSAttainment of Nirvana Still Goal, But Not So Important That You Should Miss Cousin Vijay's Bar MitzvahNew Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) — Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they have instead created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times they are reincarnated, can never please their mothers."On paper, this was a textbook alliance — two smaller competitors join forces to take on a larger adversary," said New Delhi resident Chandra Gopan. "But the synergies are just not there. For instance, I still believe I must pursue my own dharmic path to ultimate happiness, but when I get there, I just know my mother will find something wrong with it." What? What? Military officers, in particular, have found assimilation difficult. "We were all excited at first, especially about the Kama Sutra parts, but it's not going to work," Israeli Col. Benyamin Telluk said at a joint press conference with Indian officers. "I mean, just this morning, I was showing Col. Bhadrak here pictures of my family, and he said my wife was a cow.""I said his wife reminds me of a cow," Bhadrak explained."Oh, you've said it again!" screamed Telluk."It's a compliment!" answered Bhadrak.Hinjews across the world, meanwhile, said they also were too busy dealing with integration to worry about Pakistanis, Palestinians, or any other opponents. Buy a Moses Tour T-shirt!"Surprisingly, it's not the big issues, like is there one God or are there many? It's the little things," said New York City Hinjew Nathan Feldman. "Like my Hindu half acknowledges that this world is full of suffering, but my Jewish half just goes on and on about it."SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH A NICE HINJEW GIRL?However, most agreed that even if other issues could be overcome, maternal obstacles to Hinjuism would always exist."Yesterday, my former self was killed in a car accident," said the late Gori Bhupendra of Madras. "But I had good karma, so I was reincarnated this morning into the Vaisya caste. To me, this is a step up, right?"But then Bhupendra's former Sudras mother tracked him down."She says, 'Oh, Vaisya now, is it? Very nice. Of course, your former brother is a Ksatriya, but he was always an overachiever.'"Meanwhile, Muslim nations, citing the difficult Hinjew merger, said they have discontinued talks with the world's largest religion to form Chrislam."It wouldn't have worked anyway," said Imam Satra Mohammed of Damascus. "The first time we drank the communion wine, we would have all had to kill ourselves." RECOMMEND THIS PAGECopyright © 2002, SatireWire. Back to Top UmThings: we sell, um, things rnum=Math.round(Math.random() * 100000);document.write('');Click Here   rnum=Math.round(Math.random() * 100000);document.write('');Click HereSatireWire: dot.com.edySatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.Technology news - Sell Houses Fast for Cash - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders - Private Activity Bonds - Startup Advice & Ideas - Vending Machines - Business Budgeting and Business Budget Planning - Investment Venture Capital - Investing Equity and Venture Equity - Steam Traps      
 

"Hinjew

leaders

today

conceded

the

merger

of

Hinduism

and

Judaism

has

not

worked

out

as

planned,

as

instead

of

forming

a

super-religion

to

fight

off

the

common

Islamic

enemy,

they

had

instead

created

http://www.satirewire.com/news/may02/hinjews.shtml

SatireWire: Religious Merger Creates 900 Million Hinjews 2008 December

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"Hinjew leaders today conceded the merger of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of forming a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they had instead created

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